Holding On While Letting Go

The other day one of our newer roasters asked me if I’d ever roasted coffee.

This made me chuckle a bit, as when we opened, I roasted about 90% of our coffee. I lived right around the corner from our first shop and although we were just getting started, keeping up often required me to show up at night solo to roast solo while the neighborhood around me slept.

It’s been a while since I’ve stood behind the roaster. Long enough now that our new and even not so new employees don’t know that I have that skill in my bag.

This brought up conflicting feelings. The positive feelings associated with progress, both personally and professionally, and the slight sting that comes with not being seen as the expert at the skill you spent so much time, energy, and effort building.

There’s the paradox. I can’t think of anything more annoying than in ten years being known as simply “the coffee guy” yet It’d be really nice if I could be the new version of me while simultaneously still being the coffee guy.

So if I’m not who I was, but I’m not yet who I want to be, who am I?

You

While it would be neat and tidy to project our worth through the singular lens of what we do, this creates a warped picture of who we are.

Our past success is important, as is our future potential, and we have to carefully navigate this balance. Holding on too tightly to what was, prevents us from moving forward. Letting go too easily prevents us from building on our past achievements. But the journey is forever and at no point can we point to our current job title, award, or skill we’ve developed and say “This is me.”

On our journey, the job we have is less important than how we show up to that job. The number of friends we have is less important than how we show up for the friends we do. The skills we develop are less important than the process that led to attaining those skills.

The value others may assign to you because of your status and the perks that come along with that status are nice, but these perks are as temporary as that status. Some seasons come with more prestige and clarity than others but throughout all of them, you are still you.